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My Mommy's a Porn Star

What would it be like if your mom or dad were a porn star? Ex porn star Jenna Jameson's child is surely to find out. She doesn't wish the business on her child. "I don't want my little girl to have to worry about whether or not those whispers are about her," she said. Read more about it in the Daily News. Here is a great interview with Jenna Jameson in Esquire.

I don't know if there is a porn star out there who is a working porn star and has children. I just can't imagine. It seems that you would have to make a choice.

Dreaming Porn

I dreamed I was a porn star and it wasn't fun. You'd think it'd be a good dream but it wasn't. In my dream, I had the same life I have now... a wonderful wife and child. Somehow, though, I was in a situation where I was about to star in my first porn film. A woman was there in front of me, lying on a bed with lights, camera and crew. The feeling was overwhelmingly wrong. I was thinking about how my wife would react to my porn debut and what my daughter would think if she ever found out. I felt as if I was crossing a threshold and I'd never be able to return. When I woke up, I was left with that wrong feeling for a large part of the day. The feeling of wrongness I had was strange because in all my "research" about porn for this film, I've never thought, ''porn is WRONG." I've always been open minded about it and non-judgmental. I spent the majority of seventh grade trying to get my hands on porn. So, I thought it interesting that when placed in the position of crossing the threshhold into porn, that I would suddenly feel it was wrong. Of course, I would be cheating on my wife and there's a bunch of emotion wrapped up in that. But, the feelings I had after the dream made me wonder how a person feels when he decides to cross the line into porn. Does he even consider it a line crossed? How does taking on porn affect him emotionally, at the deepest level? Does he live with an innate sense of wrongness or does his worldview absolve him of that feeling? Porn is so interesting because while many of us, if asked point blank, would wish our sons and daughters to become porn stars, most of us would say NO! Yet the amount of money flowing into the porn industry indicates that so many people consume porn...most likely many of them are fathers (and mothers?). So, on the surface one could say that porn is looked down on, yet just below the surface, it's given a big thumbs up. So, as a porn star you aren't considered a "legitimate" actor on one level, but your work is being consumed by the masses and enjoyed on another. So if the porn star pins his self worth on the judgment on the surface, of the public eye, there's a good chance that porn star might live with a feeling of wrong. On the other hand, if a porn star looks into the eye of the naysayer and thinks, "behind closed doors, just below the surface, you love porn, even if you deny it to yourself," then it seems the porn star could vindicate himself of any feeling of wrongness. By the way, my dream did not have a happy ending.

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